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Mama, I want you to say it out loud: The Small Stuff IS the Big Stuff. When you have a child with developmental delays, it’s easy to focus on what they can’t do. Let’s face it, we are routinely inundated with that reality– from doctors, therapists, teachers, and IEP teams.
We’re sleep deprived, running on a gallon of coffee just to survive. And, to top it off, we’re reminded again and again the short window by which all the right therapies, medications and interventions must in place. This left me feeling as though I had to race against time, as though there is some magical time by which kids cease to learn.
It took me a long time to learn not to internalize what I was hearing from the masses, and just focus on my beautiful child. Sure, we have to listen to the professionals. At the same time, we have to continually advocate for what our kids need. And, after striking that delicate balance, we have to do their guided work to see the gains that will help our kids become the very best versions of themselves. However, my child isn’t a just a pile of co morbid conditions to fix.
delayed milestones are still milestones
Which brings me back to my original point, which is — the small stuff IS the big stuff. Our kids hit developmental milestones later than the average kid. For example, I see my kiddo hitting milestones that her typical peers hit about 3 years ago. Let’s put that into perspective; in the grand scheme of things, what’s 3 years? Admittedly, this gets easier as she gets older. When she was 6 and still needing the help of a pull-up at night, those 3 years seemed like light-years away.
If I’m being honest (and a bit selfish) those delays mean that she’s my little girl for just a bit longer — and to me, that’s a gift. The truth is, mamas – we get but 18 summers with our kids. (Perhaps in our case, we’re blessed enough to have a few more). Either way, in the blink of an eye, that time is gone.
With a combination of time, therapies, medical intervention and most recently, using the all-natural Nemechek protocol we are seeing slow but steady developmental gains.
Today we’re celebrating our youngest daughter’s birthday. In the past, our oldest would not have thought about the fact that it was a birthday or any associated social graces. This morning she woke up and said, “Mom, will you take me to Target? I want to buy [my sister] a present for her birthday. A BIG one!”
there is no crystal ball view into the future
Whaaaaaat? This type of thought process did not happen a year ago. Sure, perhaps some would roll their eyes at my excitement over something so seemingly basic. But, from my perspective, I know that statement is a complex thought – not just using memory but also, understanding social norms. Furthermore, understanding that today is a special day for an important person in her life, and she wants to do something special. And, to point out, this wasn’t mimicking a video she watched on YouTube. This was a genuine thought process — one that a developmental pediatrician assured me she’d never have.
So, mamas, I’m here to say, the small stuff IS the big stuff. Take every opportunity to celebrate. As for me? I’m going to enjoy this moment of success. As far as I’m concerned, my family has two milestones to celebrate today.
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Beautiful thoughts. And true.
I worry so much about what my son is not doing that I often miss what he IS doing.
Thanks for the reminder!
Full Spectrum Mama
Thank you Full Spectrum Mama! I need that reminder too!